


There but for the Grace of God

by hyperbolicfae



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels are Dicks (Supernatural), Apocalypseverse (Supernatural), Biblical Scripture References (Abrahamic Religions), Dialogue Heavy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 07:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21388762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperbolicfae/pseuds/hyperbolicfae
Summary: Sam and Dean are captured in Apocalypse World, and Michael sends his best interrogator.It doesn’t go how he would expect.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	There but for the Grace of God

“So what, Cas?” Dean said casually. “You watch  _ Schindler’s List _ and decide to go Amon Goeth on humans?” He leaned as close to the angel as the ropes would allow. “Cause I gotta say: the outfit, bad accent; points for trying, but it’s a little try hard.”

“Be quiet,” Castiel — not their Castiel— growled. “You are the prisoner here. You and your brother.” The angel looked at them as if they were nothing. It made Sam’s stomach churn. “I am the one conducting the interrogation, you two are the ones tied to chairs.”

Dean ignored him. “I’m thinking I’m right and that’s what happened.” He snorted. “Exactly that I bet. So Michael puts you on torture duty and you hate it. Hate it so much you break out the World War II DVDs, douche persona, and Nazi costume. Sound about right?”

Sam could see it happen, too. Cas getting his bad guy cues from movies because he had no one else. No one to show him he could be better, that Heaven was wrong. That he had a choice. 

This Castiel had nothing and no one who loved him, and that … hurt.

The angel raised his blade. “Silence.”

Dean just grinned. “Kinda makes me miss your holy tax accountant getup. Gotta tell you man, I’ve already killed Hitler. A pretend wannabe’s not going to be hard.”

“Cas,  _ Castiel _ , this isn’t you,” Sam said. He licked his lips. “We know you. In our world you’re our friend. Family. You don’t torture people for kicks. You help people. You’re one of the good guys.”

“Heaven’s will is good and it is righteous.” Castiel’s eyes pierced into Sam. The normally warm blue eyes sent chills down his spine. “Do not think you can tempt me away from God’s plan, I know what you are!”

“Lucifer’s vessel,” Sam sighed. “Yeah, I know.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Cas, I chose differently and we stopped the apocalypse. You helped us stop it. We locked Lucifer and Michael in the Cage and we saved the world. You were part of that.”

“Dude, we’ve met God,” Dean said. “I can pretty much guarantee that this was not His idea. He gave you angels free will and you broke the world with it. You gotta know Michael’s just pissed because God left, and now he thinks the rest of the sandbox is fair game.”

“No.” Castiel shook his head. “It is by God’s will that Michael is in command over Heaven and Earth. We are cleansing it to make Paradise.”

“Paradise,” Dean scoffed. “Are you freaking kidding me? Have you seen it out there? That wasn’t the work of demons or monsters. That was Raphael and Zachariah and king dickless Michael. That was angels.”

“You’re an angel,” Sam said. He remembered the reverent way he used to look at Cas. The way he sometimes still did. “You once told me that angels had lost their way, that they forgot that it was also God’s will to love and protect humanity. Castiel, in our world, you rebelled to save us. You fell to protect us.”

“Blasphemy,” the angel hissed. “I do not know who you think you are, Sam Winchester, but your manipulations will not work on me.”

Sam swallowed thickly. He remembered what that word meant and the sentence it carried. “It’s the truth, Cas. We can help you. Please let me help.”

Castiel lowered one gloved hand to Sam’s face. Sam tried to remember that it wasn’t really Cas, like it wasn’t really Charlie or Bobby. Cas touched him to heal, to caress, and once to break down his Wall. It had never felt … empty, cold, not like this. Sam shuddered. 

“Okay, Adolf,” Dean said, “that’s enough over there. You got something to say, you talk to me instead.”

“No, it’s okay, Dean. Castiel doesn’t believe us; why would he?” Sam swallowed. There was a way to show the angel, to prove what they said but… He gritted his teeth. He could do this. “You, you can look if you want. In my mind. That’s what you were going to do; I know you can.”

“Sam, no! Those guys were fried —“

“He could do it anyway, Dean.” He shrugged. “If it makes Castiel see, if it shows him, it’d be worth it.” Sam took a deep breath. “What do you say?”

Castiel narrowed his eyes. “I don’t care about a fallen angel from another world. That’s not the information Micheal wants me to collect.” 

“Look man,” Dean said, “how about you stop acting like a dick, drop the porno accent and we can talk. Try being a little more ‘love thy neighbor’ and a lot less Revelations.”

“Or I could begin my questioning,” the angel said.

“How about instead you untie us and let us go. I really don’t wanna kill you, Cas. I will, but I don’t want to.”

“Dean, threatening him isn’t going to help. Look, Castiel, I just want to show you how it could be different. How you’re different. I guess I just don’t get it. You’ve never wanted to hurt people before, even when you had orders you hated it. This isn’t…” Sam hesitated, “... this isn’t you.”

“I am eternally Heaven’s servant.”

Sam wondered how many lessons he withstood, how many sessions with Naomi it had taken to get Castiel to shatter. 

“More than you know,” Castiel said with a twisted expression, all traces of the faux German gone.

Sam’s eyes widened. “You read my mind. Both of ours. That’s what you’ve been doing this entire time.”

“Yes,” he said placidly. “The friends you were stalling for are coming, as is the Castiel from your world. … I will not hinder them.”

“Okay, that’s … good.” Sam breathed. “Thank you.” 

He nodded. “I will think on your words, Sam Winchester. I do not wish you well, but I do not wish you harm. Michael will be told you had no information. I suggest you leave this world quickly.” He was gone with a flutter of wings.

_ Find someone, Cas,  _ Sam prayed.  _ Find someone good who will help you.  _

“Man,” Dean said, “I forgot how annoying that was.”

  
  


“Did he hurt you?” Cas’s first words after they’d been found were laced with panic.

Dean shook his head. “No, Cas,” he soothed. “We’re good. Worst thing bizarro you did was tie us up and try to talk us to death.”

“I will make it up to you, Sam. I will.” Cas said it like a vow.

Sam ran his hands through his hair. “He isn’t you. You gotta know that.” 

“He is.” Castiel shook his head. “The worst of me, perhaps, but still me. The one who never had his choices questioned, or questioned Heaven. He is Heaven’s … hammer, though he has lost faith. The Castiel who slaughtered a town on Heaven’s whim, who tortured on orders.”

“Still not you, man,” Dean said. He clapped the angel’s shoulder. “This is not on you. He made his choices, but you decided to be better.”

“Yes. If only because I had two humans who held me accountable though they suffered greatly for it.” He smiled sadly, and Sam fought the urge to kiss it away. Instead he reached down and threaded his fingers through the angel’s hand. Cas said nothing but gently squeezed back.

“That doesn’t take away from what you’ve done.” Sam said. “You wanted to be a better person and you are. You sacrificed everything to question. He could’ve but didn’t.”

“He couldn’t think to.” Cas frowned. “The possibility of free will is unfathomable to angels.” He shrugged almost imperceptibly. “Better to destroy the Earth than to blaspheme by thinking Father would give us such a gift.” 

“He came around in the end,” Sam said. “Sorta.”

“If he did, it was only because of you two.” Cas looked up at the sky. “‘ _ Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain. _ ’ That’s what he believes, as I once I believed, and that is why the angels have have burned this world.

“God doesn’t want this, and maybe that’s why He brought me to you.”

When Castiel looked at Sam, his eyes were bright and illuminated with light. He looked more angel than he had in years. “There but for the Grace of God I go.”


End file.
